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Dream Casting

The Sandlot The Musical: Legends Never Die

Our favorite kids from Stranger Things, The Ferryman, and more are filling out the musical baseball team Broadway has been waiting for.

Broadway really likes turning movies into musicals. Some people love it. Some people hate it. We're in it for the dream-casting opportunities. So instead of waiting for the next Notebook, or Devil Wears Prada, or Almost Famous, or Mystic Pizza (seriously, there are a million of them), we picked one of our favorite titles and dreamed up not just a cast list, but a fully conceptualized, guaranteed blockbuster: The Sandlot.

Broadway producers — feel free to thank us at the Tony Awards.


(© 20th Century Fox / Seth Walters)

Plot Summary
It's the summer of '62 and Scott Smalls is about to get himself into the biggest pickle of his young life — and all because neglectful fathering left him offensively uncoordinated, unfashionable, and uninformed (about sports…he's otherwise very smart). Good thing his mom and inattentive stepdad Bill moved him into a neighborhood run by the coolest preteen ever to knock the guts out of a baseball.

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez and his misfit pals Squints, Yeah-Yeah, Ham, and the like are about to begrudgingly welcome Smalls into their summer fraternity and teach him all there is to know about baseball, camaraderie, and every last one of George Herman Ruth's alliterative monikers. And this time, they're going to sing about it!

Of course they'll leave plenty of time to sexually assault Wendy Peffercorn at the local pool and trespass on blind Mr. Mertle's property through various failed attempts to outsmart "The Beast" that lives in his backyard (spoiler: It's just a very old dog named Hercules). Because that's what being a kid in the summertime is all about: getting into trouble, cooking s'mores, and making memories that last FOR-EV-ER.

Creative Team
Music by Alan Menken (The Little Mermaid, A Bronx Tale)
Lyrics by Shaina Taub (The Devil Wears Prada)
Book by Eric Simonson (Bronx Bombers)
Direction by Trip Cullman (Choir Boy)
Choreography by Camille A. Brown (Choir Boy)

Company
Iain Armitage: Scott Smalls, smart, anxious, has never thrown a ball in his life
Gregory Diaz: Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, quiet, brooding, baseball statistics will be his college party trick
Jeremy Ray Taylor:_ Hamilton "Ham" Porter, rotund, quick with a sick burn, makes the best s'mores in the San Fernando Valley
Gaten Matarazzo: Michael "Squints" Palledorous, looks like a nerd but is a secret baller
Luke Islam: Alan "Yeah-Yeah" McClennan, adorably frenetic, must be comfortable in a flying harness
Priah Ferguson: Kenny DeNunez, excellent pitcher, an astute observer of the people (and lifeguards) around her
August Maturo: Bertram Grover Weeks, friendly, no parent would suspect him as the one that instigated their child's chewing tobacco habit
Sadie Sink: Timmy Timmons, pragmatic, a born architect (she goes by Timmy, so don't think about renaming her Tina)
Matilda Lawler: Tammy "Repeat" Timmons, Timmy's younger sister, the name is self-explanatory
Mike Birbiglia: Bill, really doesn't want to teach his awkward stepson to play catch but knows he'll be sleeping on the couch if he doesn't, is waiting patiently for the day he can sell his Babe Ruth-signed baseball for $75,000
Shailene Woodley: Mrs. Smalls, IMDb lists her as "Mom" so her personality clearly needs some development
Taylor Louderman: Wendy Peffercorn, lifeguard, beautiful, skills include lotioning, oiling, and smiling
James Earl Jones: Mr. Mertle, thinks he's better than Babe Ruth at baseball, must be played by James Earl Jones
Richard Kind: Babe Ruth, inspirational in a grumpy uncle kind of way, smokes a cigar
Bowdie: The Beast / Hercules, big dog
Michael Quinton McArthur: Phillips, leader of the Sandlot kids' rival team the Tigers, has a subtle and unexplained New York accent

Songs

Act 1
The Biggest Pickle – Company
Don't Be a Goofus – Smalls
Get Into Trouble, For Crying Out Loud – Mrs. Smalls
Keep Your Eye on the Ball – Bill, Smalls
The Great Bambino – Ham
Smalls Makes Nine – Benny, Squints, Ham, Yeah-Yeah, Kenny, Weeks, Timmy, Tammy
L-Seven Weenie / The Catch – Squints and Company
Baseball Stuff to Remember – Smalls
You're Killing Me, Smalls – Company
First You Take the Graham – Ham
The Legend of the Beast – Squints
I Know Exactly What I'm Doing – Wendy
Squints Snaps – Squints
This Magic Moment – Company

Act 2
Sandlot Standoff, a Rap Battle – Ham, Phillips
Chaw! (to the tune of "Tequila") – Company
The Most Amazing Thing I Ever Saw – Company
I Got a Ball / The Biggest Pickle (Reprise) / The Great Bambino (Reprise)
#OhMyGodThatsTheSameGuy – Smalls and Company
A Little Bit Farther (Battling the Beast) – Company
Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never Die – Babe Ruth, Benny
Benny Pickles the Beast – Company
I Think We Killed the Dog – Company
NBD, He's Just George to Me – Mr. Mertle
Baseball Is Life – Mr. Mertle, Benny, Smalls
Leaving the Sandlot / Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never Die (Reprise) – Smalls and Company