Enough is Enough!
All...all...all...about Varla.
With the opening of her confessional Off-Broadway multimedia mélange, Enough About Me: An Unauthorized Autobiography, Varla Jean Merman is poised to clear the air and dispel some of the ugly rumors that have plagued her since gaining notoriety as a showgirl in New Orleans. "The press is always distorting my family history by writing that I 'claim' or am 'rumored' to be the 'alleged' love child of Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine. That's irresponsible journalism!" asserts Varla Jean. "I AM Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine's daughter--and two restraining orders can't stop me from saying so!"
Another controversy to swirl around the buxom beauty pertains to her dramatic weight loss. "I lost 90 pounds," she boasts as if auditioning to replace Monica Lewinsky in Jenny Craig ads. "Some of my fans thought that I was sick. I lost weight the old-fashioned way: diet, exercise and tapeworms!"
It's difficult to imagine the full-figured femme fatale on a diet, especially when the highlight of her act used to be the consumption of a two-pound brick of Velveeta while simultaneously singing. Varla Jean continues to perform her signature number, "Dream a Little Dream of Cheese," but now, the large volume of processed food product is replaced with a more palatable can of Easy Cheese. "I love the taste--and it has the convenience of being an aerosol," she notes.
With impeccable comic timing and a voice that inspired Opera News to baptize the performer "a true artiste," Roberson's alter ego quickly captured the attention of New York's cabaret crowd. Following sold-out runs at Eighty-Eights, Ms. Merman shared the stage with Wigstock legend Lady Bunny in Jingle Belles at The Westbeth Theater. The hit holiday show established Varla Jean as a bona fide star. A few Christmases later, she was singing "Susie Snowflake" and other Yuletide classics on the stage of Carnegie Hall. Briefly shedding the Merman persona, Roberson toured from Tulsa to Tokyo as Chicago's Mary Sunshine, a role he understudied on Broadway.
As Varla Jean, Roberson has been seen in several hilarious TWEED Fraktured Classiks productions, including Lypsinka is Harriet Craig, The Miracle Worker with Charles Busch, and most recently, Varla Jean Merman is the Bad Seedling, co-starring Kristine Zbornik. The actor also appeared opposite Tony-winner Betty Buckley during one of her concerts at The Bottom Line. The unlikely twosome sang "When There's No One" from Carrie, the short-lived Stephen King-based musical. "I think I scared her a bit," admits Roberson who performed dressed as the show's telekinetic title character. "You can't say 'Carrie, you're not like other girls' to a six-foot guy in drag without getting a laugh."