Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, the musical with the most famously complicated safety record in Broadway history, held an unironic press conference about Halloween safety on Oct. 25 outside of Foxwoods Theater. TheaterMania was live on the scene, asking....... "Seriously?"

Spider-Man (Reeve Carney) and the Green Goblin (Robert Cuccioli) led the event, flanked by four of the show's villains, a real-life-token-NYPD-detective, a real-life- token-FDNY-lieutenant and real-life members of the media, including The Associated Press.

TheaterMania got appropriately serious in an exclusive interview with Spider-Man and his nemesis about the origins of their passion for safety:

TheaterMania: So, when did you first become public safety advocates?

Spider-Man: [Laughs] Oh man, I think I've been a public safety advocate since I was a child, to some degree.

TM: Were you a hall monitor?

SM: Not really, but being the oldest in the family, I always felt protective of my family and siblings.

TM [to the the Green Goblin]: What about you?

The Green Goblin: I was a Boy Scout when I was young, so it probably started way back then.

TM: I bet it did. Do you think that it's safe to drink the worms at the bottom of tequila bottles?

SM: [Laughs] Wow. I've never tried it, so I can't really say one way or another…Are you planning on attempting to drink the worm?

TM: I've always wondered whether I should or shouldn't. So, on the subject of safety, our mayor has reduced the size of sodas for the safety of new York—

SM: No! That actually went through?

GG: It passed.

SM: All I will say is that I hope it really is for the safety.

TM: But you're disappointed about it?

SM: I'm just a little skeptical about it.

TM: Well, while we're on the subject of politics, who are you both voting for?

SM: I haven't decided yet.

TM: We've got an undecided!

GG: [Laughs]

SM: I'm registered as an independent. I'm not ready to make the choice yet.

GG: I've decided and I'm supporting our president. He is the right man for the job.

So, there you have it. Seriously.