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Hi, my name’s Katie and I’m a recovering Showmantic…

Katie writes about her experiences dating a fellow cast member.

| New York City |

September 12, 2011

That’s right. I’ll admit it. That I, Katie Sims, have recently given in to temptation. I started to seriously date a guy that ordinarily would not have caused me major head-turn whiplash, but because he was in a play with me, I fell fast. And hard. Now, I know. What was I thinking, right? I mean, I made a rule for myself a long time ago that I would never let this happen. That I’d stay focused, come in, do my work, make friends with the cast and crew, and call it a day. Fraternizing with male cast members has never been on the agenda. Generally, I’m not one to be closed minded, but for my own sanity this seemed a reasonable guideline to set for myself. Because, as we all know, romance makes anything, including making theatre, more complicated.

So, I have no idea why, when I was cast as Beatrice in a student directed production of Much Ado About Nothing last spring, I thought it was a good idea to get involved romantically with our, Claudio. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I somehow managed to entangle myself in the all-too-convenient and highly likely, showmance. In case you were wondering what I mean when I say “showmance” let me — with the help of Urban Dictionary — clarify. A showmance occurs “when actors engage in a romance for the run of a show. Then, once the run is over, so too, is the romance. The term has now moved on to the general populace to describe any contrived romance” (Urban Dictionary, 2008).

In addition, the showmance is something that is almost unavoidable among those that call themselves actors. Much like the Bubonic Plague was in Europe in the 14th century, fatality rates are high and getting out alive is rare. However, unlike plague, the imminent dangers of the showmance are clouded in the guise of backstage flirtation, secretive handholding, and lusty cast party make-out sessions.

But I should probably back up and explain a bit. Let me tell you the story of how Beatrice fell for Claudio.

I was coming off of the high that is studying theatre abroad for a full semester in London town. So, in all fairness, my guard was already down –head cloudy, filled with visions of testing out all that I had learned in Camden when I returned to the tough city streets of Los Angeles and imparting all of this newfound knowledge of high comedy, Shakespeare, and the art of drinking copious amounts of Stella in pubs with names like the Duke of York and the Nags Head. I was so worldly now, so cultured, so, so witty! I could do anything I wanted. The world was my cup of English breakfast tea.

So, when Much Ado was cast and I found myself sitting across from a younger, very cute scene partner all that my overly optimistic, slightly euro-drugged brain could think was, “double score!”

As I would later learn, however, two cast mates falling for each other is kind of like two distracted bikers on their beach cruisers in the middle of USC’s campus, knowing full well that they’re in danger of colliding. Right before the crash, however, it’s a bit exhilarating. Thoughts like, “will they suddenly maneuver out of harm’s way at the last second?” “Will they make it?” always cross my dangerously curious mind. But inevitably, one of them is on their cell phone and the other one’s checking out some frat guys tanned, toned deltoids and both are caught off guard just long enough and, BAM, they crash head on. And that’s exactly, (metaphorically speaking), what happened to me. Claudio and I flew head over handlebars into a showmance with each other. And while we were soaring it was great. But when we crashed and burned I was, for some reason, left shocked, dismayed, stunned.

I mean, on some level I must have known that the end was coming. I had to know that the Beatrice/Claudio thing was not how Shakespeare or God had intended it.

But, day two of rehearsal, I stood there and lusted after this guy anyway, caught in a trance that can only be called, “show-goggle vision.” Much like beer goggles, which make people that you would otherwise never consider making a move on — four Heinekens in — start to look less like Courtney Love and more like Jennifer Love Hewitt and suddenly it’s GAME ON!

It’s not that Claudio wasn’t a good-looking guy, he was. But he was definitely not my usual type. A) He was the most metro guy I have ever dated up to this point and B) He was — drum roll please — a freshman. So, why did I fall for it? In retrospect and with some help from hindsight, here’s why I think Beatrice fell for Claudio and why so many of us fall for fellow actors/actresses during the course of the creative process.

Why showmances happen:

1) They’re convenient! Let’s face it. You spend a lot of time with these people whether you want to or not. They are made easily available to you. Can you say easy access? You have opening lines available to you at all times so that you can flirt shamelessly if you so choose.

2) It’s dramatic. Making live theatre is a highly amplified, augmented atmosphere often involving similar romantic subject matter. For example, Much Ado centers around two different types of love relationships. And wouldn’t it be a great story to tell the kids… “Mommy and Daddy met when they were two horny college kids in a sub-par, student directed production of one of Shakespeare’s finest comedies…”

3) We cannot always afford to be picky. Us theatre ladies swim in a very small pool in which more than half of the fish are usually playing for the other team, are “experimenting with men,” or they are emotionally unavailable, sexually frustrated high school theatre nerds turned recent playboys who want only to sew their wild oats.

4) We fall in love more easily with someone when we see someone in the midst of doing something they love, or are consumed with. (Side note: this is the reason that “groupies” exist for rock stars.) We see a guy totally consumed in a soliloquy about his deep love for Hero and we start believing that he came up with it himself, forgetting–poor girl–that Shakespeare wrote it, not this new object of your affection.

5) And lastly, it may seem obvious, but fiction often gets confused with reality.

Unfortunately, the showmance was truly much to do about absolutely nothing. Though we were fond of each other and enjoyed a certain similar carnal sensibility and enjoyment of the world, Claudio and I were not a match made in heaven. We were on two very different pages. But I am proud to announce that since the Claudio thing I have been showmance sober for eighty-three days! And even in the event that I might want to slip, lucky for me, the next show that I’m in features an all-female ensemble.

Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more. Even Beatrice eventually found her Benedick, and someday, hopefully, I will too

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