The Performers‘ Best Red Carpet Porn Names

The filthy-mouthed (seriously…bow down, David Mamet) farce and its all-star cast celebrated their opening night on November 14, leaving us on the red carpet doing Q&A’s about T&A. We asked a baker’s dozen of celebrity guests and cast members what their porn names–your childhood pet’s name + the street you grew up on–would be, and while some didn’t follow the rules (we’re looking at you, Henry Winkler) the responses were all awesome.

Here’s a handy list of Who’s Who when Broadway’s best get smutty.

Socks 12 – Daniel Breaker (Lee)
“But Breaker’s much better than ’12.'”

Lucinda McCreary – Alicia Silverstone (Sara)

Conan Meadows – Cheyenne Jackson (Mandrew)

YaYa Highledge – Ari Graynor (Peeps)

Patches Carpenter – Jenni Barber (Sundown LeMay)

Stiff Wood – Henry Winkler (Chuck Wood)

Morgan Kings – Evan Cabnet (Director, The Performers)

Mark Fury – Mark Feuerstein (TV’s Royal Pains)

Pixie Stiletto – Krysta Rodriguez (The Addams Family)

Cinnamon Carlin – Jon Bernthal (TV’s The Walking Dead)

Viagra – Eric Bogosian (Time Stands Still, which he did with his “girlfriend” Alicia Silverstone)

Bingo Beaton – Warren Adams (Choreographer, Motown: The Musical)

Chocolate Fudge Stamford and Lee Paradise – Jaymes Vaughan and James Davis (Chippendales dancers on TV’s The Amazing Race)