Dream Cast: In Monopoly: The Musical, We Match Broadway Stars With Their Spirit Tokens
Monopoly: The Musical is a completely real, newly announced Broadway-bound show. And while this classic board game isn't something we would have put on our list of most Broadway-ready properties, it could actually be pretty fun. After all, few family-friendly games offer more compelling characters (who hasn't dreamed of being adopted by Rich Uncle Pennybags?) or more realistic plot points (has anyone ever won first prize in a beauty contest?).
As long as Monopoly: The Musical takes less time to watch than an actual game of Monopoly takes to play, we can't wait to see our favorite Broadway stars breathe life into the game tokens we all remember spending countless happy childhood hours prying out of the dog's mouth.
Battleship — Sting
Sting loves boats. And he loves Broadway. So the one thing we're pretty sure would convince this Tony-nominated Last Ship scribe to return to the New York stage is casting him as a boat in a new Broadway musical. He won't even need a costume. Sting's chiseled features and steely gaze already scream armored vessel.
Racecar — Aaron Tveit
The most recent heartthrob to slide behind the wheel of Greased Lightning was Broadway's Aaron Tveit in Fox's Grease Live. He looked so comfortable in his refurbed racecar we thought, "This guy could actually be a racecar." So, watch out Monopoly, this greaser is the type that will be collecting $200, whether or not he passes Go.
Thimble — Kimiko Glenn
Chris Fitzgerald might love his Waitress costar "like a table," but we love her like a thimble. No Monopoly piece better encapsulates Kimiko Glenn's spirit than this cute, tiny, resilient sewing accoutrement. Plus, it suits her character's yen for reenacting the glory days of patriotic vexillographers.
Scottie Dog — Annaleigh Ashford
Annaleigh Ashford is always endearing, but when she plays a dog, as she did opposite Matthew Broderick in Broadway's Sylvia, she's everyone's best friend. Why not put all that physicality training to work again in Monopoly: The Musical? We see Tony No. 2 coming her way.
Top Hat — Patina Miller
When you're sitting around with your family in your fifth hour of Monopoly, have you ever wondered to yourself, "Whose top hat is that?" We're pretty sure it's Tony winner Patina Miller's. As the Leading Player in the 2013 Broadway revival of Pippin, Miller memorably wore a snazzy white boater, but she also rocked a tiny top hat that is conspicuously close in size to the one inside every game of Monopoly. Let's put that hat back on her head where it belongs.
Wheelbarrow — Danny Burstein
The wheelbarrow token is the blank slate of Monopoly — it is what you make of it. And nobody makes a character like Danny Burstein. If you don't believe us, just ask his six Tony nominations or his 10 appearances on various Law & Orders. He's also been building up the wry humor and large biceps necessary to cart around a wheelbarrow eight shows a week by doing just that with Tevye's milk cart in Fiddler on the Roof.
Boot — Billy Porter
Ordinarily, there's no sex in this heel-less boot. But as we learned through current Shuffle Along star Billy Porter's Tony-winning portrayal of Lola in Kinky Boots, the sex isn't actually in the heel, it's in Porter himself. The Monopoly boot may not look like much now, but once it's imbued with the "sole" of this man, it's sure to be the most beautiful thing in the world.
Cat — Nicole Scherzinger
Nicole Scherzinger has made a career out of playing cats. First, she was the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls and later, she received an Olivier Award nomination for the 2014 West End revival of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats. Scherzinger may have turned down the opportunity to reprise her role as Grizabella on Broadway, but she couldn't possibly pass up the chance to play the 2013 edition Monopoly token: Cat.
Rich Uncle Pennybags (Mr. Monopoly) — Reed Birney
Rich Uncle Pennybags isn't actually a piece that's up for grabs when sitting down to a rousing session of America's favorite board game. But we imagine him as the godfather of Monopoly, overseeing all Monopoly activities. Newly minted Tony winner and Humans patriarch Reed Birney is perfect for the role, sharing just the right mix of paternal instinct and joie de vivre.
