Cut the Crap

Do you want to change your life, but you don’t know where to begin? Are you ready to realize your own “special specialness”? Is it time to set achievable goals (like getting out of bed, for example)?
Clam® is here and ready to lead you on this important journey. Clam Lynch has teamed up with acclaimed director Russell Bates to help you make enormous strides in personal growth and self-discovery without any of the annoying pain and hard work.
Whether you’ve been sleeping under a bridge downtown or in the back seat of your Mercedes S350, Clam understands your situation, and he’s an authority on relieving the burden of excess cash overflow. Or underflow! Or whatever!