Why Aren't You Following John Patrick Shanley on Twitter?

Feel like your fortune cookies are in need of an upgrade? This Twitter-happy Pulitzer Prize winner is the man for the job.

John Patrick Shanley is best known for his Oscar-winning screenplay Moonstruck and his Pulitzer Prize-winning play Doubt.

Have you been looking to supplement the depressing news and awkward selfies that fill your Twitter feed? TheaterMania is here to help.

It won't solve all your problems, but we've found that a productive first step to curating a more fulfilling feed is clicking that "Follow" button on playwright John Patrick Shanley's prolific profile.

The icy-eyed Pulitzer Prize winner has a flair for the poetic — particularly of the 140-character-or-less variety. On July 30, for instance, @JohnJpshanley seems to have awoken "like a white dove." Because, hey, "life is like a wild horse."

Also, just like your average fortune cookie, JPS' tweets can be even more fun if, at the end, you tag on an "in bed."

You're welcome.

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) September 2, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) July 30, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) July 8, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) August 14, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) September 17, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) September 19, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) June 2, 2014

— John Patrick Shanley (@JohnJpshanley) April 28, 2014

And just this morning: