Review: Bryan Safi Cares About What You Think of Him in Are You Mad at Me??

At one point in his solo show Are You Mad at Me??, writer/performer Bryan Safi cops to having ADHD. Given how often he gets distracted from his own monologue during the show’s 70 minutes, that much is obvious without his saying it outright. But perhaps that admission is yet another one of his professed ways of “people-pleasing,” apologizing for his shortcomings to win favor with his audience? Whether you find such digressions genuinely revealing or plain irritating will determine how you respond to the show itself.

The premise binding the evening together is promising, at least in theory. Are You Mad at Me?? is a variety show-like therapy session in which Safi works through, among other issues, his tendency to care too much about what others think of him. Much of that can be traced back to an upbringing at the hands of a mother whose toughness and homophobia led him to adopt habits that suggested a desire not to be noticed by anyone. This lack of confidence stands in stark contrast to the flamboyant persona he projects onstage, a contradiction that he gestures toward exploring in this show. (He and his mother are currently on good terms, he notes.)

As with most real-life therapy sessions, Are You Mad at Me?? adopts a free-form approach to examining its overarching subject. Inevitably for a stand-up comedian like Safi, personal anecdotes and observational routines make up much of the content. But he’s not above simulated game-show segments and the occasional musical number (Jenn McCarron is credited with “additional music”). And then there are the many audience-participation and improvisational bits peppered throughout, with Safi basically shoving his microphone into audience members’ faces and sometimes asking them questions. At the performance I attended, he turned the various cups that audience members were drinking from into a mild running joke. An object that fell from one of the overhead lights onto an empty seat led to another impromptu riff.

Some bits stand out for the way they subtly evoke Safi’s character. The way he connects his usually hunched walking style (“It’s giving Demi Moore back-birthing Margaret Qualley in The Substance”) to his inner yearning for anonymity, for instance, is truly insightful. Other moments dazzle for their sense of playful invention, like the way he turns some of the comments his mom made to him as a kid into a Family Feud-style game of “Homophobic vs. Serving,” complete with Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? sound cues. (Connor Wang and Camille Denholm are the sound designers, with Nicholas Hussong and Duncan Davies providing lighting and video design.) And the many off-the-cuff moments, as well as the generally surehanded way Safi navigates back to the scripted portions, testify to his nimbleness as a live performer.

One could chalk up the many digressions as a part of Safi’s stage persona, as someone so desperate to put on an enjoyable show that they’re willing to seize upon any opportunity to shy away from too much darkness and introspection. But these unscripted bits also prevent the show from building any momentum, leaving the cumulative experience feeling as all-over-the-place thematically as it is stylistically.

Safi also isn’t above tossing logic aside for the sake of a gag. What does his getting the definition of “dysmorphia” wrong have to do with being a people pleaser other than setting up a bit in which he beckons an audience member to read the incorrect definition taped onto the page of a dictionary? And sure, his rendition of Vanessa Williams’s “Save the Best for Last,” in which the song’s opening line, “Sometimes the snow comes down in June,” is repeated ad nauseum, is hilarious. But the joke about him not knowing the lyrics, despite his earlier claim that songs like that helped him cope with anxiety as a kid, doesn’t connect to the show’s larger ideas either. (No director is credited for this production, though Kevin Zak is credited as “creative consultant.”)

Perhaps it’s best to approach Are You Mad at Me?? as basically a glorified stand-up special. On that level, it’s often amusing and sometimes inspired, with Safi an impressively wide-ranging performer and an agreeably self-deprecating presence. As difficult as it is to get mad at him for being so entertaining, you may nevertheless lament the deeper, more cohesive, and more incisive show this could have been.