Broadway University’s 2005 Midterm Exam Answers
My hat’s off to Peter Alfano, Fred Aronowitz, Aaron Bogad, Susan Berlin, Brigadude, Seth Christenfeld, Jill Fedun, Jason Flum, Marty Kohn, Marc Miller, Arthur Robinson, and Steve Rosenthal; they were the highest scorers on the Broadway University midterm exam for the year 2005.
In case the rest of you slackers forgot the assignment, you were to identify both the songs and the shows that yielded the following lyrics with apostrophic rhymes — i.e., lyrics in which the use of an apostrophe makes a rhyme that wouldn’t otherwise exist. For example, take the first words you hear on the cast album of Look Ma, I’m Dancin’: “My mother didn’t raise her boy to be a dancer; that was not her mission. My father hoped I’d be an engineer or a financier, that’s what he was wishin’.” Note the last word is “wishin’ ” — with an apostrophe instead of a “g.” If the “g” were present, the word would be “wishing,” and lyricist Hugh Martin would have missed the rhyme with “mission.” But “wishin’ ” without the “g” takes care of everything.
Here are the 50 examples of apostrophic rhymes with the songs and shows
identified.
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1. “Another op’nin, another show, in Philly, Boston, or Baltimo’ ” (“Another
Op’nin’, Another Show,” Kiss Me, Kate)
2. “That Puerto Rican punk’ll go down, and when he’s hollered ‘Uncle!”… (“Quintet,” West Side Story)
3. “‘Her English is too good,’ he said, ‘which clearly indicates that she is foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language, English people aren’.” (“You
Did It,” My Fair Lady)
4. “I finally found the boy I’ve been missin’. Listen!” (“I Can Hear the Bells,” from Hairspray)
5. “Your special facination’ll prove to be inspirational. We think you’re just
sensational.” (“Mame,” from Mame)
6. “I’m gonna put on shows that will enthrall ’em, read my name in Winchell’s
column.” (“I Wanna Be a Producer,” from The Producers)
7. “But we ain’t fussin’, ‘cuz we got us, ‘n.” (“Two Lost Souls,” from Damn
Yankees)
8. “And when the beef comes out, you do the carvin’. You hate Tom Cruise, but you
love Lee Marvin.” (“Man,” from The Full Monty)
9. “Should there be a marital squabble, available Bob’ll be there with the glue.”
(“What Would We Do Without You?” from Company)
10. “When your best days are yester’, the rest’re twice as dear.” (“No Time at All,”
from Pippin)
11. “Kid, my heart ain’t made of marble, but your rhythm’s really hor’ble.” (“If a
Girl Isn’t Pretty,” from Funny Girl)
12. “I do not like polygamy, or even moderate bigamy. I realize that, in your eyes,
that clearly makes a prig o’me.” (“Shall I Tell You What I Think of You?” from The King and I)
13. “Dreams the way we planned ’em — if we work in tandem.” (“Defying Gravity,”
from Wicked)
14. “Men say it’s criminal what women’ll do.” (“Thoroughly Modern Millie,” from
Thoroughly Modern Millie)
15. “Said this bum’ll be Beau Brummel.” (“All I Need Is the Girl,” from Gypsy)
16. “But with child-e-ren, it’s bewilderin’.” (“Plant a Radish,” from The
Fantasticks)
17. “Picture a flailing spermatazoan, not even knowin’ where he is goin’.” (“What
Could Be Better?” from Baby)
18. “On the east side of Eden, they did a little lovin’, they did a little breedin’.”
(“Generations,” from Children of Eden)
19. “So when I met Louis Sixteenth of Bourbon, ’twas so disturbin’.” (“Louis Says,”
from Victor/Victoria)
20. “Many a lassie as everyone knows’ll try to be married before 25, so she’ll agree
to most any proposal.” (“Waitin’ for My Dearie,” from Brigadoon)
21. “You don’t have to shout; from now on, I’m out of the kitchen. What’s more, I
can’t stand your cigarette brand, and I’m switchin’.” (“A Funny Thing Happened,”
from I Can Get It for You Wholesale)
22. “Turning down ev’ry chance you’re given takes the risk out of life, but friends,
how the hell can you call that livin’.” (“Out There,” from Barnum)
23. “I see cannibals munchin’ a missionary luncheon.” (“Those Were the Good Old Days,” from Damn Yankees)
24. “I got a hot water bottle, but nothin’ I got’ll take the place of you holdin’ me
tight.” (“Steam Heat,” from The Pajama Game)
25. “If she’s wearin’ silk and satin, she’s for pettin’ and for pattin’.” (“Silk and
Satin,” from Silk Stockings)
26. “According to a sweet and corny custom, isn’t it kinda fun makin’ vows, admittin’ that we both intend to bust ’em?” (“Isn’t It Kinda Fun?” from State Fair)
27. “So a job I’m getting, possibly; I wonder who my boss’ll be.” (“Reviewing the
Situation,” from Oliver!)
28. “Three cheers for Pinchley, he’s true blue. We knew essinch’lly he’d come
through.” (“Deep Down Inside,” from Little Me)
29. “But what’s the use of smellin’ watermelon?” (“Evalina,” from Bloomer Girl)
30. “Each girl and boy alike, sharing joy alike, feels that passion’ll soon be
national.” (“Love Is Sweeping the Country,” from Of Thee I Sing)
31. “From now on, this pile of flesh’ll be considered something pretty special.” (“Look What Happened to Mabel,” from Mack & Mabel)
32. “She’s taken our boys ‘nd she oughta be poisoned.” (“Ode to Lola,” from Seventeen)
33. “Back home, I dreamt of catchin’ fish so big I couldn’t carry ’em. They told me that they have my size right here in the aquarium.” (“Come Up to My Place,” from On the Town)
34. “I should like a series on young Larry Foreman who goes around stormin’.”
(“The Freedom of the Press,” from The Cradle Will Rock)
35. “In your book, it may be written that a guy who is quittin’ with a dollar-ninety-eight is doin’ fine.” (“Rich Is Better,” from How Now, Dow Jones)
36. “There’s nothin’ worse’n a poor little person.” (“Poor Little Person,” from Henry, Sweet Henry)
37. “Lasted up to autumn. Could have caught ‘im.” (“Marry With Me,” from The Grass Harp)
38. “Life without us is quite impossible, and devoid of all charms. No amount of idle
gossip’ll keep them out of our arms.” (“The Boy Friend,” The Boy Friend)
39. “Although she looks like Venus, she may not be the cleanes’.” (“The Good Time
Girl,” from Over Here)
40. “…not since Sidon, not since Jericho started slidin’.” (“Not Since Nineveh,” from Kismet)
41. “Won’t you lose your aplomb, ‘n’ take off the domin-o?” (“Take off the Mask,” from New Faces of 1952)
42. “Harriet, who climbed the top of the heap from the bottom. A beautiful life was her aim, and to vary it, she wanted the sun and the moon — and she got’em.” (“Uptown Dowtown,” cut from Follies)
43. “Oh, world, we’re tired of grap-pa-lin’; we feel like Charlie Chap-a-lin.” (“Penniless Bums,” from Sugar/Some Like It Hot)
44. “We’ll never make our fortune just by sitting on the porch ‘n’ looking wistful.” (“Gold,” from Bounce)
45. “I’m being wooed by a banker who’d buy a yacht if I got on his knee.” (“I’m Saving Myself for a Soldier,” Mata Hari)
46. “Most people stay and battle on with their boredom, but what’s the sense of
dreaming dreams if you ‘oard ’em?” (“Some of Us Belong to the Stars,” from Billy)
47. “You hit it right on the button. We always keep goin’, but where do we go, what
do we know? Nuttin’.” (“A Lopsided Bus,” Pipe Dream)
48. “Let Hollywood have Marlon — Charlie is my darlin’.” (“Charlie Welch,” from Mr. Wonderful)
49. “She smiles at you so innocently, and yet it’s just as clear as can be, she A-I-N-apostrophe-T.” (“A Saint She Ain’t,” from A Saint She Ain’t)
50. “And every guy I find satisfyin’ treats me like I was Margaret O’Brien.” (“The Little Boy Blues,” from Look Ma, I’m Dancin’. Yup, that Hugh Martin was always impartin’ apostrophic rhymes!)
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[To contact Peter Filichia directly, e-mail him at pfilichia@theatermania.com]
