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The Brick Theater, Inc. presents The Pretentious Festival, "the most important theatre festival on Earth." EXTENSIONS! Five shows from the festival have extended their runs. Immediately following are the extension schedules. Scroll down in the synpopsis for full descriptions: EVERY PLAY EVER WRITTEN Thu 7/5 8pm Sat 7/7 8pm Thu 7/12 8pm Sat 7/14 9pm Sun 7/15 7pm MACBETH WITHOUT WORDS Wed 7/11 8pm Fri 7/13 9pm Wed 7/18 8pm Fri 7/20 9pm Wed 7/25 8pm Fri 7/27 8pm INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR Fri 7/13 7pm Sat 7/14 7pm Fri 7/20 7pm Sat 7/21 7pm THE CHILDREN OF TRUFFAUT Thu 7/26 9pm Fri 7/27 10pm Sat 7/28 7pm Sun 7/29 7pm YUDKOWSKI RETURNS! Tue 7/24 8pm Thu 7/26 7:30pm Sat 7/28 3pm Sat 7/28 9pm Sun 7/29 3pm ********************** Featured Works: Between the Legs of God Written and directed by Art Wallace Featuring Trav S.D., Heath Kelts, Ursala Cataan, Mike Rutkoski, Joseph Cacace, Devon Hawkes Ludlow A retired modern dancer forbids his daughter to go to her play rehearsal. It is her birthday and he has hired a comedian to perform for her. The director of the play arrives with a baker who bakes the birthday cake. There is a lot of argument concerning the nature of reality culminating in murder and a seance. (45 min) Sat 6/2 @ 9pm, Fri 6/8 @ 7pm, Sat 6/16 @ 5:30pm, Sat 6/23 @ 2:30pm Brick-a-Brac The Brick's irregular performance series returns with an especially pretentious collection of new works. Featuring Mother Is Looking So Well Today, Project 365, Un film présomptueux et bon d'art de pensée dehors, and some exclusive surprises. (90 min) Sun 6/3 @ 7pm The Children of Truffaut Written and directed by Eric Bland The Children of Truffaut thrusts eight characters drawn from 70's Continental cinema into a game of arousal, angst, bluster, pontification, and whimsy. Godard, Fassbinder, Fellini, and Tarkovsky each provide the atmospheric starting point for a male/female unit. Once the pairs are spawned, though, pretty much anything goes, especially transgression, nostalgia, and love. This ain't yer momma's arthouse--unless your momma is the lovechild of Marcello Mastroianni and Hanna Schygulla. In which case, I'd like to meet her. (75 min) Tue 6/19 @ 9pm, Sun 6/24 @ 4:30pm, Fri 6/29 @ 10:15pm, Sat 6/30 @ 7pm The Cole Kazdin Amnesia Project Written and performed by Cole Kazdin The last thing she remembered was standing at the top of a cheerleading pyramid on the set of a low-rent television pilot ... Then hitting the ground ... on her her head. What followed - a trauma that few outside of a soap opera ever experience: Amnesia. Who is she? Where is she? And which one of these smiling men standing in her bedroom is really her boyfriend? The true story of how one non-union acting gig led to six months of forgetting, and trying to learn everything from making mashed potatoes to having sex ... all for the first time. Kind of. The Cole Kazdin Amnesia Project is a new one-woman comedy from the creator of the critically acclaimed solo show, My Year of Porn, which debuted at the Brick Theater's Moral Values Festival. (60 min) Fri 6/8 @ 8:15pm, Sat 6/9 @ 4pm Commedia dell'Artemisia Written by Kiran Rikhye Directed by Jon Stancato A Horse Trade Presentation of a Production of the Stolen Chair Theatre Company Featuring David Bengali, Layna Fisher, Cameron J. Oro, Liza Wade White In a daring attempt to rival Moliere's greatest work and single-handedly revive the tradition of Commedia dell'Arte, Stolen Chair presents Commedia dell'Artemisia, a masked farce in rhyming couplets, satirizing the controversial rape trial of Italian Renaissance painter Artemisia Gentileschi. As the teenage virtuosa Artemisia tries to escape the clutches of her miserly father, she becomes entwined with Agostino Tassi, a master painter and criminal who would rather screw than woo. Transforming these complex historical figures into commedia stock characters, Stolen Chair irreverently eviscerates history, hypocrisy, rape, romance, art and artifice. (45 min) Sun 6/17 @ 2:30pm, Fri 6/29 @ 7pm Compression of a Casualty / Fox(y) Friends Sponsored By Nobody presents two of their critically-acclaimed "found-text" works together for the first time. Compression of a Casualty takes aim at a CNN broadcast on a soldier's death in Iraq, while Fox(y) Friends lines up in its crosshairs the saccharine hosts of the popular Fox News morning show. Grounded in actual broadcast transcripts, Sponsored By Nobody incorporates live video, projected images and an exaggerated sense of physicality into their double-shot of jarring satire. Force fields. Grapefruit. Oral Sex. Legos. Kind of like 60 Minutes on drugs, or the bastard child of The Daily Show and Network. (60 min) Wed 6/13 @ 7pm, Sat 6/16 @ 9:45pm, Sun 6/17 @ 7pm, Wed 6/20 7pm Dinner at Precisely Eight-Thirteen Book and Lyrics by Lisa Ferber Music by Paul Nelson Directed by Elizabeth London In this delightful 1930s-style musical screwball comedy, Gramercy Park heiress Kitty La Blintz invites publishing magnate Snerdly Jammybottoms, dance hall girl Rose E. Cheeks, and a variety of other entertaining guests to a dinner and the reading of a will. The surprise visit of an actor masquerading as philosopher Smarmy Von Footnote brings romance, confusion, and even... murder into the hilarious mix. (1 hr 45 min) Sat 6/2 @ 2:30pm, Sun 6/3 @ 3pm, Wed 6/6 @ 7pm, Sat 6/9 @ 1:30pm Evangeline Directed by Sarah Ashford Hart Evangeline exposes the continuing history of exile in America: centuries of slave trade from Senegal to New Orleans; the Acadian expulsion from Nova Scotia to Louisiana in 1755; and the displacement of thousands of Hurricane Katrina survivors, still refugees in their own country two years after the storm. We tell these stories through poetry, shadow puppetry, folk song, and people's real words, asking: What is home? What have we lost? How do we rebuild? (60 min) Fri 6/22 @ 7pm, Sat 6/23 @ 5:30pm, Sun 6/24 @ 3pm, Tue 6/26 @ 7pm Every Play Ever Written: A distillation of the essence of theatre Conceived, Cultivated, Written, Directed and Presented by Robert Honeywell In collaboration with Numerous Playwrights Throughout History and Lynn Berg, Audrey Crabtree and Moira Stone What are the core themes, or drivers, if you will, the primary colors, of theatre? Its essence? Downtown theatre director, writer, actor, producer, visionary, auteur and co-artistic director, president, treasurer and member of the Board of Directors of The Brick Theater, Inc. (a non-profit corporation) and global time-and-space traveler Robert Honeywell and his collaborators Audrey, Lynn and Moira deliver a stunning lecture with live scenes, surveying the history of theatre, from early man (who was the first actor? the first director?) to the present and even the future, and distilling it into four extraordinary, but deceptively simple, core themes. Attend this lecture, and you'll never have to attend another play again. (90 min) Fri 6/22 @ 8:30pm, Sun 6/24 @ 6:15pm, Sat 6/30 @ 5pm, Sun 7/1 @ 3pm Ian W. Hill's Hamlet Directed and designed by Ian W. Hill Written by William Shakespeare Presented by Gemini CollisionWorks Gemini CollisionWorks has spent a decade trying to make exciting, beautiful, moving, intelligent, entertaining, experimental ensemble theatre for the masses, and has only a valuable, but small, cult reputation in Indie Theater, the respect of its peers, a handful of rave reviews, and a massive amount of debt . . . so isn't it time that artistic director Ian W. Hill is allowed to get egotistical and pretentious on your ass? Now, downtown's rapidly-aging enfant terrible designs, directs and stars in Ian W. Hill's Hamlet, his 50th production, 10 years to the month after his first! Hill guides a cast of eighteen through a ruthlessly and idiosyncratically cut version of the play, being faithful to an idea of the play, while having no respect for the tradition around it -- setting it in a class-driven 20th Century American landscape, where the actions of the Prince are just one distraction in a fragile society heading towards collapse. Violent, creepy, funny, and unsettling, Ian W. Hill's Hamlet is a pretentious idea of popularizing Shakespeare. The auteur blogs about his creative process at // (2 hrs 30 min) Tue 6/12 @ 8:30pm, Fri 6/15 @ 8:30pm, Tue 6/26 @ 8:30pm, Thu 6/28 @ 8:30pm The Impending Theatrical Blogging Event Curated by Michael Gardner The New York community of theater bloggers blog about themselves as a theatrical event, live, at the theater, while blogging on their laptops. All blogs are projected onto a large blog screen. Audience bloggers are encouraged to comment on the commentators' commentary and blog about it afterwards. (60 min) FREE Sun 6/3 @ 9pm Interview With the Author Written and performed by Matthew Freeman Directed by Kyle Ancowitz Celebrated upstart playwright Matthew Freeman presents an intimate live interview with Matthew Freeman, illuminating the audience with his views on matters of enormous consequence: his Art, his Life, and the Blogs he has loved and left behind. (60 min) Sun 6/3 @ 5:15pm, Sun 6/10 @ 6:30pm, Fri 6/15 @ 7pm Ivory Tower or Sagan? Created and performed by Adrian Jevicki, Rebecca Ketchum, Elodie Escarmelle, Nathan Kosla, Gabriel Forestieri A piece of collaborative dance theater that explores attitudes toward science though the archetypes of the Mad Scientist and the hoity-toity sophisticant scientist a la Carl Sagan. (45 min) Tue 6/12 @ 7pm, Sat 6/16 @ 8:30pm, Thu @ 6/21 7pm Macbeth Without Words Directed by Jeff Lewonczyk Presented by Piper McKenzie Created with and performed by Fred Backus, Katie Brack, Hope Cartelli, Bryan Enk, Stacia French, Robert Pinnock, Robin Reed, Iracel Rivero Soundscape by Ryan Holsopple Traditionally inferior to their British brethren in the presentation of Shakespeare, how can American actors approach the grandeur of the Bard? Easy: by removing the all of that difficult, unnecessary language. The latest installment of Piper McKenzie's Bizarre Science Fantasy physical-theatre series, Macbeth Without Words presumes to improve upon the classic story about the original social climbers with an all-movement version inspired by silent film, modern dance and comic books - with extra emphasis on the gore, the ghosts, and the supernatural. (90 min) Wed 6/27 @ 7pm, Fri 6/29 @ 8:15pm, Sat 6/30 @ 3pm, Sun 7/1 @ 5pm The Mercury Menifesto Created by John Del Signore Ever wonder what drives a man to paint himself silver and stand still in the subway for spare change? For four shows only, the untold story of The Mercury Men - New York's iconic silver performers - will be brought to vivid life. The acclaimed Masters of Doing Nothing, who the Times likened to an "android Noel Coward", have mesmerized crowds (and infuriated cops) for years with their preternatural talent for standing. The Mercury Menifesto divulges their secrets in a fast-paced motivational seminar for aspiring stationary artists eager to step inside the unitard and start making a stand for change. (60 min) Sun 6/10 @ 8pm, Sun 6/17 @ 8:30pm, Fri 6/22 @ 10:30pm, Sat 6/23 @ 4pm Mother Is Looking So Well Today: A Grand Opera in 1 Page Music by Craig Lenzi Book and lyrics by Ed Valentine Co-created with Robin Reed Presented by Cardium Mechanicum Betrayal! Murder! Greed! Incest! A string trio! And a chorus of thousands! (...or, as many as we can fit onstage.) Cardium Mechanicum presents a one-time-only happening: Mother Is Looking So Well Today: A Grand Opera in 1 Page. It's everything you ever wanted from Opera - but in 10 minutes or less. Synopsis: Ruby and Victor (and their innumerable brothers and sisters) await Mother's arrival at the top of the grand staircase…but when the party goes horrible awry, their lives will never be the same. (Performed as part of Brick-a-Brac) Sun 6/3 @ 7pm Nihils Written and performed by Trav S.D. Downtown raconteur and iconoclast Trav S.D. steps out of character to star as Nihils -- pretentious-most of the pretentious -- a relentless and hilarious send up of performance art, poetry readings, experimental theater, and deconstructionism (and a thousand other isms). With punk and free jazz supplied by his band the Nihilistics. If you miss this show, you're a part of the problem. (60 min) Sat 6/16 @ 7pm, Sun 6/17 @ 4pm, Sun 6/24 @ 8:15pm, Thu 6/28 @ 7pm Nothing Created by Michael Gardner An experience of existential crisis embodied in a representational happening of theatrical circumstance. Nothing is free. (30 min) Fri 6/8 @ 9:45pm, Sun 6/10 @ 9:30pm, Sun 6/24 @ 2pm The Pretentious Awards Ceremony and Closing Night Soiree Featuring the debut of the Pretentious Awards: Most Pretentious, Least Understood, Most Misunderstood, Keenest Contempt for the Audience, and so on. Fancy dress required. If you have to ask you can't afford it. Don't join any club that would accept you as a member. Step on the little people. Sun 7/1 @ 9pm The Pretentious Opening Night Cabaret A free sneak preview of some of the earth-shattering work that will be presented over the coming weeks under the auspieces of The Pretentious Festival. (90 min) Fri 6/1 @ 7pm Project 365 Written and performed by Miriam Daly Miriam Daly takes a picture every day and writes a song about it. She brings the fruits of this process to a one-night-only performance at Brick-a-Brac. Sun 6/3 @ 7pm Q1: The Bad Hamlet Written by William Shakespeare Directed by Cynthia Dillon Presented by Dillon/Liebman/Schafer in association with New World Theatre Company It could be an early draft by the bard or it could be a blatant rip-off, but throughout history it has been called the bad quarto. This fast-paced, action-packed production proves that it aint necessarily so! Half the length of the better-known play, this version crystallizes the famous story of murder, madness, love and betrayal. It is performed by an agile ensemble of 7 actors playing multiple roles, including the actress playing Hamlets mother doubling as a butoh inspired Ghost of Hamlet's father. Performed uncut, this is a great version of one of the greatest of plays! (2 hrs 15 min) Wed 6/20 @ 8:30pm, Thu 6/21 @ 8:30pm, Sat 6/23 @ 7:30pm, Wed 6/27 @ 9pm Rockberry: The Last One Man Show (a play) Written by Nick Jones Directed by Peter J. Cook Presented by Jollyship the Whiz-Bang A visitor from the future visits an experimental theater retreat and helps an artist write his one man show, which is of critical importance to the people of the future. (60 min) Sat 6/9 @ 10:15pm, Thu 6/14 @ 8:30pm, Sat 6/23 @ 9:45pm The Sophisticates Written by John DeVore Directed by RJ Tolan Two self important bloggers with literary aspirations patiently await the arrival of a hot shot book agent in this scathing satire on big city media -- where the competition is vicious because the stakes are so low. (90 min) Fri 6/1 @ 11pm, Sat 6/2 @ 5pm FREE reading This Is the New American Theatre Written by Danny Bowes and Tom X. Chao Directed by Danny Bowes Featuring Danny Bowes and Tom X. Chao Two egomaniacal writer-performers named Danny Bowes and Tom X. Chao (played by Danny Bowes and Tom X. Chao) devise a revolutionary plan to redefine the medium of theater: having actresses appear nude onstage to distract the audience while they subliminally propagandize the audience with aesthetic memes and their own idiosyncratic preoccupations. However, once the actresses are cast, Bowes and Chao find to their horror and surprise that . . . women have minds of their own. This is the New American Theatre contains extensive nudity and foul language, and truly obscene levels of self-absorption. Children under 18 discouraged from attending. (90 min) Sat 6/2 @ 7pm, Thu 6/7 @ 8:15pm, Sun 6/10 @ 3pm, Wed 6/13 @ 8:30pm Three Angels Dancing on a Needle Written by Assurbanipal Babilla Directed by Michael Yawney Three Angels Dancing on a Needle is a comedy about pure love, pure lust, and all the impure thoughts in between. Three characters play out absurd fantasies of sex and revenge as they look for paradise in all the wrong places. Written by exiled Iranian playwright Assurbanipal Babilla, the piece makes outrageous comedy out of a collision of the spiritual and sexual. (60 min) Tue 6/5 @ 7pm, Wed 6/6 @ 9:15pm, Sat 6/9 @ 7:30pm, Sun @ 6/10 5pm Tunnel Vision Written and performed by C. Stangenberg Directed by Mercedes Murphy Video/Image Master Katurah Hutcheson Tunnel Vision takes five characters on a bumpy ride through the cacophony of external input on New York City's subway system. The conductor drives them to meet their glairing destiny. Boldly directed by the Mercedes Murphy, Tunnel Vision will have you looking for the light yourself. (60 min) Thu 6/14 @ 7pm, Sun 6/17 @ 5:30pm Un film présomptueux et bon d'art de pensée dehors By Video Augmentalist Jonathan Latiano The alpha, the omega, the greatest film you'll ever see. (Performed as part of Brick-a-Brac) Sun 6/3 @ 7pm Yudkoswki Returns! (The Rise and Fall and Rise Again of Dr. Eliezer Yudkowski) Written and Directed by Bob Saietta In a seemingly deserted island, Dr. Eliezer Yudkowski and his artificial intelligence drones and cohorts wage a war to keep their circular narrative from ending. Their only weapon? The hope that humanity can finally evolve. (90 min) Tue 6/19 7pm, @ Sat 6/30 @ 8:45pm, Sun 7/1 @ 1pm, Sun 7/1 @ 7pm

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