Second-Hand Rose

Sitting through the lumbering new Neil Simon play Rose’s Dilemma, one can only say that a rose by any other name would smell sweeter. Familiar Simon themes are played out here with lackluster dialogue and flaccid plotting, all of which lead to an evening in which the major dilemma is deciding whether or not one should leave at intermission.

In his astonishing and prolific career, Simon has written very few bombs. The crater you’ll find at the Manhattan Theatre Club’s Stage I, where Rose’s Dilemma is playing, is an empty space where laughter should be. The fault lies squarely in the play itself. Mary Tyler Moore, who famously vamoosed from the production a couple of weeks before it officially opened, could not have possibly made a significant difference had she stayed. Her replacement, Patricia Hodges, gives a game performance but lacks charisma. It’s a moot point; charisma and star power might have sold more seats but would not have improved the play

It seems Rose is a famous writer, late in her career. She hasn’t written anything in five years; not since her husband died; she has been carrying on an affair with the visualized memory of her late husband, played by the wonderfully natural John Cullum. He’s not a ghost; he’s the image she creates in her mind — and she knows it. Of course, having sex with a ghost that looks like John Cullum will make sense to a lot of women in the audience. Nonetheless, it’s a plot device that wears thin with round after round of jokes attempting to get laughs out of Rose talking out loud to her imaginary late husband while others around her think she’s talking to them. Reminiscent of Simon’s Chapter Two and Jake’s Women, this play is, in fact, a ghostly vestige of Neil Simon’s talent.

The subplot involving a book that Rose wants written only ads to the misery. The usually exciting David Aaron Baker plays a young novelist brought in to collaborate with Rose and her dead husband (an idea that has potential), and he gets some laughs but his character lacks any real edge. His love interest, played by Geneva Carr, who plays the famous writer’s secretary, seems entirely miscast. She’s supposed to be thirty-four. She looks like she’s twenty. Lynn Meadow directed this dilemma of a play. One can only hope that this will not be the last play Neil Simon writes.

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Bill Irwin and Company Take Flight

A few words of high regard for Bill Irwin’s The Regard Evening. This smart satire on the nature of theater pokes fun at almost every aspect of the art form, from actors to academicians. There is nothing pedantic about the show; its comedy is largely intellectual but the laughs derive from fundamental emotions, and that is Irwin’s genius.

Much of the humor of the show comes from unexpected sources. Irwin created the production with three collaborators and two of them join him on stage at the Signature Theatre: Michael O’Connor appears as a purposefully obnoxious critic (and, later, an equally irritating professor), while Doug Skinner nearly steals the show as a dry-as-vermouth musical director and faux narrator. He’s sensational.

The other collaborator, Nancy Harrington, does not perform in the piece but works as the production stage manager. All deserve applause, as does the Signature Theatre, which has just announced an extension of The Regard Evening through February 1.

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O, Holy Nightlife!

Christmas shows were everywhere during the past few weeks and not even with a reindeer sleigh could we hope to keep up with all of these evenings of good cheer. Still, we managed to stuff our metaphorical stockings with some memorable holiday shows, as follows:

There was the gift of music (as well as the collection of cash) at a benefit performance on behalf of St. Clement’s Church hosted by Carolyn Montgomery and produced and directed by Rick Leonard; it went by the clever title of Christmas Carolyn. The bill of fare included many of cabaret’s most admired talents, such as Klea Blackhurst, Fred Barton, Baby Jane Dexter, Steven Lutvak, Natalie Douglas, Mark Coffin, Julie Reyburn, Lennie Watts, Scott Coulter, Steven Ray Watkins, and Sydney Myer. From Blackhurst playing a ukulele to Lutvak offering a glimpse of a brand new musical he’s writing, the night shimmered with the glow of talent. Speaking of shimmering: there was Julie Reyburn sparkling in performance as brightly as her new diamond engagement ring, and there was Mark Coffin singing a hilarious song about the lack of cocaine in Cancun. There was also the rare gift of Sydney Myer delivering a ballad — how this man can act! Among so many other bright lights, Watts, Coulter, and Watkins provided vocal harmonies that were as rich and smooth as eggnog.

The Montgomery-Leonard production was Christmas déjà vu in the sense that, earlier in the week, we had seen Watts, Coulter, and Watkins in their own holiday show at Mama Rose. They sounded so spectacular together, we wished this hadn’t been a Christmas show at all so that it could run long enough for every mother’s son (and daughter) to see it. At the very least, the triumphant trio should reprise the show next year. In addition to their vocal prowess, they provided plenty of ho, ho, ho; their banter was a scream.

Finally, there was Jim Caruso’s Cast Party at the King Kong Room last night. The holiday spirits, and plenty of other spirits, were much in evidence on this amazing night; it seemed like everybody except Jimmy Stewart was there. The place was packed and, considering the size of the crowd — which included such celebs as Michael Feinstein and Charles Busch — the audience was extremely attentive to the singers at the open mike. Setting the holiday tone was songwriter John Forster who had the crowd roaring with his “All Purpose Christmas Carol,” a decious fruitcake of a number that references every ethnic and religious group. In another highlight, Michael Garin scored with a song of his own composition based on the true story of how Eddie Cantor helped to save his mother’s life. (Garin’s mom was in attendance, as were several other members of his extended family.)

On two different occasions, John Bucchino performed. The first was a plug for a soon-to-be released album on which he plays Richard Rodgers songs on Rodgers’s very own piano. Nice touch, huh? At the King Kong Room, he played “Edelweiss” as Lucas Steele gave the most ethereal vocal rendition of the song you will ever hear. Later, Bucchino backed Raúl Esparza’s wonderfully sensitive version of “Grateful,” one of Bucchino’s most popular songs. (Just minutes earlier, Esparza had written down the lyrics as given to him by Bucchino.)

And then there was Jim Caruso himself. In collaboration with his piano-playing pal Billy Stritch, the show’s host was in great form when singing and fully equipped with quips when speaking. Talk about happy holidays!

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[Editor’s Note: Because of the holidays, TheaterMania will post only one Siegel column this week and one next week, on December 30; the regular Tuesday/Friday schedule will resume the following week.]