Michael von Siebenburg is hungry. Immortality was once tasty for this 500-year-old Austrian baron, but the existential grind of modern living--with its steady diet of first dates--has worn our anti-hero down. Women have become too savvy for his medieval mindset, the past haunts him, and his cravings are curbed by…could it be conscience? A hilariously dark comedy about the monsters that still lurk in our midst, and the rigors of vampiric immortality. Recommended for high school level and up. Contains strong language and graphic content.