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Run for the hills -- the Bad Plays Festival is back! No, Virginia, these plays are not really bad, they're really GOOD but naughty -- politically incorrect, political satire, bad language, bad puns, and utter zaniness -- and don't we all need that? Bad Plays Festival 2007 features the following shows: Sex, Thugs and Rock 'n Roll (9/10, 9/20 & 24) Featuring: "Revenge Is Best Served Cold" by Samuel Toll, "God's Pants Too Huge" by George Holets, "Artist vs. Landlord" by Doron Braunshtein a/k/a Apollo Braun, "Sexual Perversity in Connecticut" by Mike Folie, "The Age Game" by Joan Blake and Tia Maria, and "Perfect Pitch" by Patricia Lee Stotter. Something to Offend Everyone (9/11, 9/21 & 25) Featuring: "Hollywood Saves Africa" by K. Knapp, "The Mexican Cleaning Lady or How I Almost Offended the Dalai Lama" by Leslie Bramm, "The Hootens of Hollerville" by Michael Paul Girard, and "The Jewish Roaches" by Richard Ravits. Is That a Gun in Your Pocket? (9/12, 9/22 & 26) Featuring: "Aphrodite's Nightie" by Frank O'Donnell, "Berry Season" by Rosemary Toohey, "Down Goes Rocky" by Reid MacCluggage, "The Devil and His Sunglasses" by Csaba Teglas, and "Time Went by but Slowly" by J. Boyer. Little Boxes Made of Ticky-Tacky (9/13, 9/17 & 27) Featuring: "Going Postal" by George Holets, "The Greatest in the Whole Wide World" by David Kosh, "A Fake Fiasco" by Frederick Timm, and "The Canary" by Don Chan Mark. "Poking at Sacred Cows" (a faux classical romp) (9/14, 9/18 & 28) Featuring: "The Moor's Pastiche" by Jean Hart, "Come Again?" by Richard J. Budin, and "The Queen's Privy" by Michael Paul Girard. Swingtime for Hitler (& Friends (9/15, 9/19 & 29) Featuring: "Goebbels! One Night Only! Live From Hell!" by Scott Munson, "Better Than Hitler" by Jon Brooks, and "God Bless America" by William Morton. Ebony Black Every Saturday, September 15, 22 & 29 at 3 p.m. The company's original children's musical is a multicultural take on Snow White. Best Little Crackhouse in Philly Every Sunday, September 16, 23 & 30 at 8 p.m. This is a special performance of the newly expanded "Best Little Crackhouse in Philly (Or... Crackwhore, the Musical!)" by Stan Peal, with costume prizes for best-dressed audience crackwhore, drug dealer or other street character. It will not compete for the Golden Pineapple this year, but will be a special event in the downstairs theatre, followed by a party. The one-act version of this outlandish musical won both the Golden Pineapple and Platinum Pineapple in previous festivals. The new version takes us further into the crackhouse than ever before, with a visit from Necrophiliac Jack and a flashback on Skank's demented childhood. Brown Bag Lunch Series of Staged Readings Wednesdays, September 12, 19 & 26 from noon to 2 p.m. The Brown Bag Lunch Series of staged readings will feature eight new plays with open discussions in a workshop setting with brown bag snacks and beverages included in the $10 admission. Readings include "Long Night's Journey into Day" by Stuart Boyce, "An Acute Triangle" by Rosemary Martino, "60 Guilders' Worth" by Anthony Pennino, "Chunnel" by Paavo Tom Tammi, "Don't Wait/'Til It's Too Late" by Lenore Blumenfeld, "Woman-Bomb/de Sade" by Allan Graubard and Caroline McGee, "Vilification" by Laura K. Emack, and "Red November, Charlie December" by Penelope Prentice.

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