Broadway University’s Final Exam for 2005

In Monty Python’s Spamalot, Sir Robin says, “We won’t succeed on Broadway if we don’t have any Jews.” He does have a point, doesn’t he? From Richard Rodgers to William Finn, from Oscar Hammerstein to Douglas J. Cohen, the musical theater has always been a haven for members of the tribe.

So this year’s Final Exam for Broadway University takes a look at lines and lyrics from musicals that have one or more Yiddish words or expressions in them. (My thanks to the esteemed Broadway University Dean Meish Goldish, who was a great help in suggesting entries.) Students are to identify both the song and the show from which these spring. To all students, mazel tov! (Answers next Monday.)

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1. “Once I was a shlepper, now I’m Miss Mazeppa.”

2. “Like be a soda jerker, which means I’d be a shmuck.”

3. “All right, already; it’s true, so nu?”

4. “I would say, ‘Oy, gevalt’ if I wasn’t.”

5. “Say ‘Goodbye!’ with a little ‘Hello!’ in it, and say ‘Goodbye!’ with
‘Shalom.’ “

6. “God up in his heaven left him out on a shaky limb. He put a meeskite on
him.”

7. “Here’s to the father I tried to be. Here’s to my bride-to-be. Drink l’chaim!”

8. “A florist’s dream come true, Mushnik and his boychick, you.”

9. “What a tzimmis I got in!”

10. “And all my merchandise is strictly kosher…perhaps you’d like to model for my brochure.”

11. “When I heard these shots, and I mean lots, I thought I’d plotz.”

12. “Don’t we get to relax without some new tsuris?”

13. “We’ll hang a crucifix in one room, a mezuzah in the sun room.”

14. “Pretty dresses, pretty dolls, just wait! For shining in your Tateh’s eye, and just
beyond this gate.”

15. “Without you, I’m bupkis, a flop, who keeps dropping the ball.”

16. “I got chutzpah to spare; with your macho, you bore me.”

17. SONS: “Then you’ll be sorry!” MOM: “Shmendricks!”

18. “Money, gelt, gold, foldin’ buyin’ power, greenback.”

19. “That’s okay, I’ve faced defeat before. I’m not gonna kvetch and I’m not gonna
cry.”

20. “Slapstick, honey; shtick is altogether another thing.”

21. “It’s like a putz museum, a showbiz mausoleum.”

22. “But as she was victory-bound, her schnoz fell on the ground.”

23. “Living my way, I was carrying on, though I cleaned up my shmutz.”

24. “When a mensch! I can’t believe what he did! He even proposed to my kid.”

25. “He’s off rebelling, and I’m kvelling here, but never mind.”

26. “He likes to call her an alter kacker. Someday he’ll shock her off her
rocker.”

27. “Literary shmata! Throw it out!”

28. “Oy! Oisgetzaichent, a mazel: Translation: Out of this world!”

29. “Nobody calls me ‘Hey, coochy-coo’ or ‘boobaleh'”

30. “From Rosh Hashana to Easter, and from Lent to Tishebov”

31. “And it proves Mr. Samuel Goldwyn is nobody’s shlemiel.”

32. “It’s very clear: Daddy’s sincere, but a schmo.”

33. “He shtups Sylvia Sidney at four.”

34. “Two tushes; two bushes.”

35. “Dos is La-med A-leph Gimel A-leph Resh Dalet.”

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[To contact Peter Filichia directly, e-mail him at pfilichia@theatermania.com]