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8 Broadway-Themed Things You Could Do If You Win This Week's Powerball Drawing

We've done the math, and $1.4 billion is enough for a ticket to Hamilton... and a few grass skirts.

Hey, have you heard? There's a Powerball drawing on Wednesday, and it's for a lot of money: $1.4 billion to be exact. Sure, you could buy your own private island, but you're a theater-lover. What's the point of owning a small chunk of Tahiti if Sutton Foster won't be there? In the spirit of the Great White Way, here is a list of 8 Broadway-themed things you (or characters from your favorite Broadway shows) could do with that much money.

Lesli Margherita learns the value of a dollar in Dames at Sea.
(© Jeremy Daniel.)

1. Produce 18 productions of Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark, a musical famously budgeted at $75 million. But think long and hard about the fact that that doesn't leave any money over for falling-actor insurance coverage.

2. Buy out the entire Richard Rodgers Theatre 8,389 times for private performances of Hamilton. For the record, that's 20 years' worth of performances. You may not have 11,065,091 friends now, but when you start offering people free Hamilton tickets, we bet you will.

3. Purchase 14,141,414 memberships to TheaterMania's Gold Club at $99/membership, or, 23,728,813 student memberships to TheaterMania's Gold Club at $59/membership. Welcome to the Gold Club, entire population of New York City, Connecticut, and part of New Jersey.

4. Give 14,583 people $96,000, the lottery jackpot from In the Heights. You'll never see them again.

5. Nathan Detroit could rent out the Biltmore Garage 1,400,000 times at "a grand" a shot to host your floating crap game à la Guys & Dolls. That's a lot of crap(s).

6. Active Marines could get 350,000,000 of Bloody Mary's "fo' dolla" grass skirts from South Pacific. That's 1,800 skirts per current active duty Marine. Luther Billis would be proud.

7. Rose from Gypsy could purchase a grand total of 15,909,090 new orchestrations and routines, red velvet curtains, a feathered hat for the baby, photographs in front of the theater, and an agent for the 88 bucks she needs to get Baby June on the Orpheum Circuit. It'll only take a jig time before they're booked in the big time.

8. You could buy every theater on Broadway, presuming each house costs around $30 million (which is only $5 million more than the Helen Hayes sold for last year). If you're bemoaning the state of theater, this is the one for you. You'd still have $258.4 million left over to produce plays by dead white guys.