The Vampires documents the antics of two obsessively competitive brothers and their dysfunctional families as they attempt to mount an original play for a backers audition in their living room. Elder brother Ian is a theatre critic-turned-vampire. His brother, wife, and sister-in-law ignore his transformation as they edit, sew, and primp for what could be their shot at the big time, or at least their entitled fifteen minutes of fame. As the pressure mounts, Ian retreats to his coffin. But the family skeletons burst from the closet as the characters prey on traditional family values, patriotism, and religion, all in the name of notoriety.