Daniel Kitson: The Interminable Suicide of Gregory Church

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Gregory had fifty seven letters to write. He'd never written that many letters, not in one go. In fact, he'd never written a single letter and it was taking significantly longer than he'd anticipated. He'd started, full of optimism, curiously enough, at 9 am and now here he was 8 hours later half way through letter twenty four. He glanced at his watch and then at the noose hanging over his head. Gregory sighed. Had he known how long suicide letters take, he thought, he wouldn't have canceled the milk for the morning.

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