Earlier this week, Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi revealed an unexpected yearning for the bright lights of Broadway — more specifically, being beneath them…onstage. In an effort to facilitate her dreams — because dreams are what Broadway is built on — we've come up with a few potential roles she could jump into this year. She might even nab a part in time for Tony season, although it's always Tony season at the Jersey Shore.
1. The Audience — Queen Elizabeth II
Helen Mirren already won an Oscar and an Olivier Award for her portrayal of Great Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. She must be getting ready to move on to bigger and better things — a Pope Joan play would fit the bill. So when Mirren does decide to abdicate, we're sure Snooks would be more than happy to take the royal reins. After all, she's already expressed an interest in politics.
2. Wicked — Glinda
Jersey Shore was all the rage from 2009-2012. So even though Snooki's not so famous anymore, she certainly knows the ins and outs of being "popular," though she probably doesn't even care — two qualities that make Glinda the baddest bwitch in all of Oz.
3. Aladdin — Princess Jasmine
We figure since Agrabah is a fictional land and "guidette" is a fictional ethnicity, Snooks would be an ideal match for the role of Jasmine — Aladdin's exotic and ethnically ambiguous love interest. We're sure Snooki is totally method, so her training as the "Princess of Poughkeepsie" will give her a leg up on the competition.
4. If/Then — Liz/Beth/Elizabeth
Snooki sometimes makes bad choices. She probably wishes on occasion she could live in an alternate universe where she wears thick-framed glasses or has a high-powered job in city management. Well, Snooki, have we got the Broadway job for you. Once Idina hits the road for If/Then's national tour, you're a shoo-in for Liz…or Beth.
5. Hedwig and the Angry Inch — Hedwig
From absurdly high platform shoes to a blatant disregard for public decency, Snooki is sure to find a kindred spirit in Broadway's favorite washed-up Eastern European drag queen. She already has the dance moves down, and as it turns out, they even live by the same motto: "I'm not trashy, unless I drink too much."
- Queen Elizabeth II
- Hedwig and the Angry Inch
- Helen Mirren
- The Audience
- Princess Jasmine
- Jersey Shore
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