The Performers‘ Best Red Carpet Porn Names

The play closed suddenly, but the playful “porn star” names provided on opening night of The Performers will stay with us forever.

The filthy-mouthed (seriously…bow down, David Mamet) farce and its all-star cast celebrated their opening night on November 14, leaving us on the red carpet doing Q&A’s about T&A. We asked a baker’s dozen of celebrity guests and cast members what their porn names–your childhood pet’s name + the street you grew up on–would be, and while some didn’t follow the rules (we’re looking at you, Henry Winkler) the responses were all awesome.

Here’s a handy list of Who’s Who when Broadway’s best get smutty.

Socks 12 – Daniel Breaker (Lee)
“But Breaker’s much better than ’12.'”

Lucinda McCreary – Alicia Silverstone (Sara)

Conan Meadows – Cheyenne Jackson (Mandrew)

YaYa Highledge – Ari Graynor (Peeps)

Patches Carpenter – Jenni Barber (Sundown LeMay)

Stiff Wood – Henry Winkler (Chuck Wood)

Morgan Kings – Evan Cabnet (Director, The Performers)

Mark Fury – Mark Feuerstein (TV’s Royal Pains)

Pixie Stiletto – Krysta Rodriguez (The Addams Family)

Cinnamon Carlin – Jon Bernthal (TV’s The Walking Dead)

Viagra – Eric Bogosian (Time Stands Still, which he did with his “girlfriend” Alicia Silverstone)

Bingo Beaton – Warren Adams (Choreographer, Motown: The Musical)

Chocolate Fudge Stamford and Lee Paradise – Jaymes Vaughan and James Davis (Chippendales dancers on TV’s The Amazing Race)