Most of the cast of Arrested Development has yet to make their Broadway debut. The Bluths have proven that family stays together no matter the medium (network TV, Netflix streaming, the Broadway stage (?) ), so we scoured the musical theater pantheon for this ensemble's perfect fit(s).
Guys and Dolls
Michael Bluth is a big fan of traditional family values, which is what made us think he'd be ideal for the part of Guys and Dolls' Miss Sarah Brown. Then the image of Jason Bateman in a maroon Salvation Army uniform popped into our heads and we thought better of it. But the snobbish Jessica Walter is actually perfect for the role. Plus, then we can cast David Cross (as Tobias Funke) as Nathan Detroit, his obvious dream role, Portia de Rossi as Miss Adelaide, Michael Cera as Big Julie, and Alia Shawkat as the Hot Box Girls. They'll probably end up having the craps game in the back of the banana stand.
There's probably no better ensemble musical for the cast of Arrested Development than Avenue Q. Especially when it's set in one gigantic Bluth banana stand. Just imagine Jessica Walter yelling "Blian!" in a racist pseudo-Asian accent to her whipped television-son-turned-husband Tony Hale as he mourns the death of his comedy career by crooning about not wearing underwear. And who wouldn't love to see Tobias Fünke throw out a dramatic "Whatchu talkin' about Willis?" in a commanding pair of Gary Coleman overalls? Jeffrey Tambor would also make for a perfect Trekkie Monster…there's definitely some internet porn money stashed away in the walls of the banana stand.
Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark
Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark is probably the most outlandish musical for the cast of Arrested Development to star in, but hear us out. Michael Cera is the perfect unassuming nerd to play Peter Parker; Jeffrey Tambor has the dry wit to take on the role of the Green Goblin; and who wouldn't want to see David Cross play every member of the Sinister Six, especially the mustachioed, whip-cracking, leopard-print-pants-wearing Kraven the Hunter? Also, Portia de Rossi as Arachne ("Shoes" number reinstated). And Will Arnett as the bullies. Imagine him relishing a line like "Catch ya later, slurk."
Don't show this again.